Hold the pickle, Hold your fire

B.K. Brings You the All New SELF-BURGER!!!

A new feature at our inner-city Burger King allows you, the customer, to come through our doors in search of a hamburger and take a chance on becoming hamburger yourself! Continuing our policy of giving random surprises to our customers, Burger King regional supervisor Dan Dilldy hired an armed guard equipped with a double-barreled sawed-off shotgun.

In case of an attempted robbery by one of the local junkies, all the lucky customers (and employees) become likely targets and possible candidates for customer-burger of the month.

In the interests of a safer, crime-free urban environment, we at BK are doing our small part to bring you the modern American police state.

Towards the brutalization of everyday life.

HAVE IT OUR WAY