Pledges

1.

I pledge obedience

to the flag

of a desecrated America,

and to the multinationals

who let us stand

one nation

of underdogs,

who are exploitable,

with liberty and justice

for sale

—Ron B.

2.

I pledge allegiance

to the bargains of

the United Consumers

at Wal-Mart

and to the stockholders

for whom they scam

One Supercenter

under Sam

unconscienable

with union busting and

sweatshops

for all

—Doug Graves

3.

I pledge Resistance!

to the rising tide

of Fascism in America,

And to the “New Global Order”

for which they plan;

One State,

Corporate, Monopolisitic,

and Invincible,

With Injury and Penury

for all

(below the rank of Manager)

—Dr. J in Santa Fe

4.

I pledge allegiance to and wrap myself up in the flag of the United States Against Anything UnAmerican and to the Republicans for which it stands, two nations, under Jesus, rich against poor, with curtailed liberty and justice for all except blacks, homosexuals, women who want abortions, Communists, welfare queens, tree huggers, feminazis, illegal immigrants, children of illegal immigrants, and you if you don’t watch your step.

—Matt Groening

5.

I pledge allegiance to the mind

of the united seers of wilderness &

to the psychosis we’ve left behind

I say, You are fear. You are useless.

Evaporate! once and for all.

— Richard Loranger