Eugene Schoenfeld M.D.
HipPocrates
A reader recently asked if I knew of any slang terms for “clitoris,” which she found too technical for bedroom talk. I didn’t know of any so I asked readers for their suggestions. Here are some of them:
From Chicago:
“A clitoris could only be called fanciful names of a non-medical flavor such as ‘touch me often,’ joyspot,’ or ‘Love’s dimple’.”
From San Francisco’s Rev. Jefferson Fuck Poland (that’s his name—honest!):
“I think the slang dictionaries may list a few terms such as ‘bean’ and ‘the little man in the boat’—pretty unattractive. How about ‘panic button.’”
From someone in Berkeley who calls himself The Red Ant:
“Perhaps the Mexicans have a good idea: they call it ‘la languita’ or ‘the little tongue.’”
Any more ideas?
QUESTION: I am a long-haired male and would like to try an experiment.
I would like to transplant a patch of hair from my head to my right cheek, just below my eye.
Now I have several small blackheads in that spot that, when pinched, will leave a small recess in my skin. When I pull a hair out I have a small white “head” at the end that I would like to put into the recess, doing this until I have a sizeable patch of 14 inch long hair dangling from my cheek.
I know it would look out-of-sight if I did it, but I don’t know if it’s safe.
ANSWER: Out-of-sight. But it won’t work and you could easily cause an infection this way,
There is a relatively new operation in which dermatologists “transplant” small patches of hair from densely covered parts of the scalp to bald areas, a surgical procedure similar to skin grafting. Several operations are necessary and it’s quite costly.
QUESTION: What’s the advisability of turning on someone who had a nervous breakdown years ago and had a bout with paranoia?
She seems to be on her feet now. Would she flip out on grass?
ANSWER: She might. Psychotic reactions following the use of marijuana are rare but they do occur. Paranoid feelings under the influence of marijuana are common, depending usually on the pre-stoned state of the individual. If your friend were with strangers in unfamiliar surroundings, the chances for an unpleasant experience would be greatly increased.
Birth control pills can be purchased from a vending machine at the University of the Philippines, according to the Philippine Collegian. The machine carries several popular brands of “the pill” and was installed by the school’s student council to reduce the number of unwanted pregnancies.
We don’t handle the “pill” so casually and with good reason, but very few American student health services provide birth control information and devices. Many student health services are entirely supported by student fees, the University of California’s system, for example. It’s strange that students at schools have not insisted upon provision of contraceptive devices.
Another method of preventing unwanted pregnancies was proposed recently by India’s Family Planning Minister Sripati Chandrasekhar.
The cheapest and safest method of family planning, he said, was abstinence. Abstinence for a year would be a great benefit for the individual and the country, the Family Planning Minister said in a speech at Poona University. Sure, Sripati baby. What else is happening in India? Population Planning?
Dr. Schoenfeld welcomes your questions. Write to him c/o P.O. Box 9002, Berkeley, California 94719.