Eugene Schoenfeld M.D.
HipPocrates
QUESTION: I am writing to you in regard to my weight problem. I am 22, five feet six inches tall and I weigh 134 pounds. I would like to weigh 125 pounds. I have been as heavy as 145 pounds and really have had no trouble losing the first ten pounds but the second are a problem.
I perform fellatio on my boyfriend an average of four times a day. My girlfriend told me the average caloric value of one ejaculation is 100.
Is it true that I am gaining calories by ingesting his semen’? Should I keep an account of this and add it to my chart? ANSWER: Dedicated medical researchers have found that the average ejaculation has a volume of 3 to 5 cubic centimeters-about a teaspoonful. Since the caloric value of a teaspoon of pure sugar is only 18, it would seem likely that these felonies* committed with your boyfriend lead to a net calorie loss for both of you.
Fellatio is a crime punishable in California by prison terms of 1 to 14 years for each offense. Most other states have similar penalties.
Methinks some of the A.M.A. NEWS staff have philosophies basically different from the parent organization. The Letters to the Editor section, recently enlarged to a full page, often features letters from physicians who oppose official and semi-official A.M.A. positions, Four stories in the March 31st issue would not have appeared a few years ago.
One was about malnutrition among poverty groups in Texas. A second concerned a report from John Hopkins University which recognized the under-representation of black students in Maryland medical, dental and nursing schools, recommended that the situation be corrected and suggested possible remedies.
Another item reported the Canadian Medical Association had urged its federal government to ban cigarette advertising and require that cigarette packages carry notices specifying health hazards to smokers. An end to federal financial aid to the tobacco industry (e.g. crop subsidies) and tighter control on cigarette sales to minors were also advised.
The C.M.A. filed a brief with the Canadian House of Commons which said in part: “There is no longer any doubt that cigarette smoking is a direct threat to the users’ health.”
The Medical Committee for Human Rights also received some attention from the A.M.A. NEWS. Meeting for its annual convention, MCHR voted to establish a program through which medical students would study Food and Drug Administration and the Air Pollution Control activities of the government. The medical students will work with Ralph Nader, guru of the oppressed consumer.
MCHR also approved resolutions advocating repeal of abortion laws and elimination of criminal penalties for drug use. Ratification is subject to approval by local chapter.
QUESTION: Due to excessive masturbation using my thumb, I find I have one large crease and several smaller ones beneath the head of my penis where the skin has been stretched.
I want to ask two questions:
1) Is my condition peculiar to myself or is it common among other males’?
2) What the hell can be done about it i.e. how can I remove these creases?
ANSWER: The chances of any condition being peculiar to one person are negligible. Since masturbation is not known to be physically or mentally harmful whatever its frequency, I suspect your anatomy is perfectly normal. If these “creases” are still troubling you, a visit to your physician or a free beach will help iron out the problem.
Dear Dr. HipPocrates is a collection of letters and answers published by Grove Press. $5 at your favorite bookstore.
Dr. Schoenfeld welcomes your questions. Write to him c/o P.O. Box 9002, Berkeley California 94709.
Hear Dr. Eugene Schoenfeld (HipPocrates)
in a benefit for the open city medical committee
Wed., May 28, 8:00 p.m., Community Arts Auditorium WSU campus
$2.00 Adm.
Related
See also: “HipPocrates Here for Open City” in this issue.