Fifth Estate Collective

Get That Tire!

OUTRAGED! That’s what we are. Consider it. Think of what it means.

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London Bridge. The Eifel Tower. The Arch d’ Triumph, the Vatican; even that monument to hypocracy, the Statue of Liberty. What does Detroit have?

A fifty-five foot spark plug at the intersection of Woodward and Eight Mile Rd.; gateway to the suburbs. The World’s largest and ugliest stove gracing the State Fair grounds. A giant grinning cow’s head on the Edsel Ford Freeway. A forty-foot bow tie, badge of a losing politician. The symbol of the city; THE SPIRIT OF DETROIT, in front of the City-County Building; a joke off a can of peas contorted in pain perhaps by something he ate—or something he saw.

AND NOW THIS! The latest monstrosity; almost too nauseating for words: THE EIGHTY FOOT UNIROYAL TIRE. Eighty feet looming up along I-94 at Southfield Rd. The Eifel Tower. The awful tire. It’s enough to boggle the mind.

We of the FIFTH ESTATE are opposed to this obscenity. We hereby announce our first crusade. This newspaper will not rest until, by fair means or foul, that tire is gone.

We solicit your support. We will picket. We will boycott. We will seek legislation. We will ridicule. We will write letters of protest. We will petition. IT WILL BE DONE.

Consider the following measures and think of your own.

  1. Let the air out. (What is inside of the tire anyway? Has the U.S. Rubber Co. built a Trojan tire?)

  2. Blow it up!

  3. Take it off its stand and roll it over the UniRoyal building located down the road.

  4. Roll it to Eight Mile Rd. and Woodward and mate it with the fifty-five foot sparkplug.

  5. Build a giant car. Get the Spirit of Detroit to drive it downtown, destroying everything in its path.

Let us know your ideas. And do the following immediately:

  1. Write the UniRoyal Co. at 4500 Enterprise Dr., Allen Park, Mich. and tell them to take their tire home.

  2. Talk to your friends, your city councilman, your state representative, and your Congressman. Get them to protest this monstrosity.

  3. Start a petition in your community demanding that the tire be brought down.

Send completed petitions to this newspaper.

GET THAT TIRE!!