Title: The Contest of Contests!
Subtitle: Let Your Imagination Run Wild!!
Notes: Fifth Estate #289, January 24, 1978
SKU: FE-0289-00011342-0013-00011383

(Left photo) From left to right: Jimmy Carter, Gerald Ford and Tricky Dicky

(Right photo) From left to right: Nelson Rockefeller, Jimmy Carter, Happy Rockefeller, Muriel Humphrey, Nancy Kissinger, Walter Mondale and Henry Kissinger

Never is such joy brought into the homes of so many people as when a high-ranking state official decides to pack his bags and catch a one-way train to the never-never land.

After several months of having pictures of his deteriorating body plastered over the front pages of every major daily in the country, the January death of Hubert Humphry brought sighs of relief and smiles to the faces of millions of people; a ray of hope in the midst of a gray winters day.

The long life of this “proud as punch” Senator from Minnesota was a spectacular one to say the least. From his early days of undermining militant trade unionists in his home state to his direct involvement in sending thousands of Americans to a slow death in Vietnam (after all, it was Hubert who said “Vietnam is America’s finest hour”), right up to his funeral last month, ole Huby was dedicated to the spectacle.

But enough of this teary-eyed sentimentalism. What this contest is all about is of the living dead who turned out to bid a fond farewell to the emaciated cadaver.

The above pictures show a gathering of prominent corpses, all brought together around the timely death of HHH. All you have to do is tell us what you would have done if you’d been there.

The lucky winner will receive a free lifetime subscription to the Fifth Estate or bus fare to the FE office from anywhere in Detroit! (whichever you think is more lucrative).

The lucky winner will be announced in the next issue of the FE (tell us if you want your name used). To play, just send your ideas to: Contest, c/o The Fifth Estate, 4403 Second Ave., Detroit Ml 48201.

Note: Any entries suggesting violent assault will be automatically rejected on the grounds of banality and lack of imagination.