Fifth Estate Collective
Businessmen: “Resume Iran Trade”
NEW YORK—Despite the lingering bitterness over the hostage crisis and the horrible events surrounding the inaugural crash, as many as 50 inquiries a day have been pouring into the Commerce Department from companies interested in resuming business ties with Iran.
“Even as the remains of the dead were being removed from Pennsylvania Avenue, businesses were calling up asking for information. In fact the number of inquiries reached a high point in the hours after the crash,” a department official said.
One such inquiry came from Mr. Milbur Crupp, of the American Flag Supply Company in Bavaria, New Jersey.
“We’ve gotten hundreds of orders for American flags from Iran and from other countries ever since that picture of the Iranian militants carrying the trash out of the U.S. Embassy in an American flag hit the press,” Mr. Crupp told this reporter in a telephone interview. “It seems that the flag makes a perfect trash container, and they want more. Perhaps it isn’t the most conventional use for Old Glory, but it will save energy on plastic bags which need petroleum to be produced, and it will certainly give our symbols more of a presence in some of those countries. Hell, we’ve been able to hire back fifty employees that were on permanent layoffs. Like President Hoover said, what’s good for business is good for America. We’re just waiting for the go-ahead to ship.”