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The Bearer of this document is hereby recognized as a member in good standing of the Animal-Vegetable-Mineral Community. As such, this creature is entitled to the following rights as established by the unwritten Constitution of the Universe:

  • Right to Purity of Soil, Air and Waters

  • Right to Immunity from Artificial Concepts of Time, Space and Location

  • Right to All Territory of the Universe

  • Right to Self-Defined Identity Regardless of Race, Nationality, Species or Genus

  • Right to Unlimited Ecstasy and Its Means of Acquisition

  • Right of Unlimited Choice of Behavior

  • Right to Independence from All Gods, Laws and Religions

  • Right to be Useless and Unproductive

  • Right to Disregard Prevailing Concepts of Science, Logic, Politics, History and Mathematics

  • Right to Death and Choice of Means

  • Right to Unlimited Shape or Personality

The preceding, self-evident rights and entitlements are undeniable and have been established through millions of years of practice in this and other solar systems, as recognized by the Intergalactic Association of Entities, Forms and Shapes. The same benefits apply to all Mineral, Animal and Vegetable forms regardless of location or source of generation.

Paw print or

(Space Below)

Signed: No Name

Ambassador to the Animal Kingdom