Straights Seed Love Weed

NEW YORK, N Y. (LNS)—Two groovy suburbanites have been growing grass in the gardens of the local police station, country club, American Legion, and Catholic church. The growers, Bill and Frank, are brothers and hale from Westchester County, where they own their own homes and belong to a country club. “We are only interested in decorating symbols of hypocrisy. We’d never do it to a high school or library,” but they hint that the U.N. may be a target.

After a trial plant named Hubert was destroyed in Frank’s windowbox by an expensive begonia, the brothers seeded the police station garden. The church crop was planted within earshot of sermons on decadent youth. It appears that only the segregated country club grass survived to be harvested and smoked. Frank says it was the best he’d had in years.

Frank, the more romantic of the pair, is thankful to God, sunshine and country club soil. He looks forward to a quiet suburban life raising pot, dill and mustard plants in his backyard.

The brothers explain that they are not part of the drug culture but are fairly contemporary middle class urbanites trying to do the right thing. They consider anti-marijuana laws ridiculous. Their future plans include seeding Manhattan and from there...