<strong>Related: Playing in the Key of Clown


<strong>Why join the U.S. Armed Forces

when you can join the Rebel Clown Army instead?!</strong>

The U.S. army is no picnic and actually is far worse. Tons of money is poured into the recruiting campaign offering false promises. Our soldiers are being manipulated, fooled, and thrown into horrific situations. For the benefit of corporations and war-profiteers far away from the battlefield.

On the other hand, the clown army is a much safer choice. Using our imagination we get to fly planes and drive tanks whenever we want, and travel to foreign lands in the blink of an eye. We offer immediate training in clowning and our health insurance plan is unrivaled on the planet—“a laugh a day.”

But you be the judge:

U.S. ARMY: Squashes individual expression and free speech

CLOWN ARMY: Breeds creative goofiness and goofy creativity

U.S. ARMY: Demands conformity and servitude

CLOWN ARMY: Liberates the imagination and imagines liberty

U.S. ARMY: Lies about money for college

CLOWN ARMY: We don’t lie

U.S. ARMY: Lies about job training and employment

CLOWN ARMY: Train to be a clown for free, today!

U.S. ARMY: Lies about gender and racial equality

CLOWN ARMY: We’re all clowns, and a clown is a clown is a clown

U.S. ARMY: Number of countries invaded preemptively for no good reason: sooo many

CLOWN ARMY: Number of pre-emptive hugs given to strangers, daily, for no good reason: more

U.S. ARMY: Fight in a war

CLOWN ARMY: Tug-o-war

U.S. ARMY: Yer officer yells orders in your face

CLOWN ARMY: Everybody yells with you and not at you

U.S. ARMY: Drops bombs on kids

CLOWN ARMY: Kids love us

U.S. ARMY: “Army of One”

CLOWN ARMY: “Army of Fun”

U.S. ARMY: Lots of gas-guzzling hummers

CLOWN ARMY: Long-winded bike advocacy

U.S. ARMY: 5-year commitment


U.S. ARMY: Boring uniform

CLOWN ARMY: Excellent gear. Have you ever worn a red nose? Red hot noses, hot pink, hot uniforms, so hot we’re sweating

U.S. ARMY: Core values: Kill, Rape, Plunder

CLOWN ARMY: Core values: Fun, Friendship, Freedom

Join CIRCA (Clandestine Insurgent Rebel Clown Army) and liberate yourself.