Larry Kaplan

A high school diploma. Whether it’s meaningful or not is your own trip, but I think you’ll have to agree that it’s often an essential ingredient in getting a job or going to college in this bizarre country we inhabit.

If you’re a dropout and have been putting aside the idea of going back because of the hassles involved then read on brothers and sisters, it’s a whole lot easier than you’d think.

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Writing serious, meaningful information that helps people is important, but after a while it bores me (and maybe you too) shitless. In response to this shitty boredom, it’s time for a collection of useless information, meaningless facts and general dung.

Telephone trips can be weird. For a starter try the usual tried and true recorded raps. The day we called Dial A Prayer 261–2440 the word God was mentioned 7 times during the 75 second religious message.

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I’ve got the clap, but because of night classes, I can’t get to the Open City Free Medical Clinic. Is there anywhere I can get treatment during the daytime?

—J.M.

City of Detroit to the rescue! The Detroit Social Hygiene Clinic is the place you’re looking for. The clinic is located in building 7 of the Herman Keifer Hospital, 8811 John Lodge, which is on the west side of the freeway just south of Clairmont.

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With a Lot of Help From His Friends

The object of this column will be twofold. We will act as a community action line where you don’t have to talk to a telephone answering machine and hope that your question or problem is the one in 10,000 they decide to work on. We also make you aware of all the free, inexpensive or unusual groovies available to you. Write us about your problems, questions or suggestions:

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